Before and After

My favorite parenting/baby/mommy blog to read is Babble.com. Forget, BabyCenter! This is what I read all through my pregnancy. The writers are so honest about what being a parent is like, and I always find advice and insights that are actually useful and always inspiring.

Today I read this list: 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be A Happy Parent.

This comes in the wake of numerous articles and blogs all over the internet about the pressures that we feel as young moms to be absolutely perfect because of what we see of others' lives portrayed on Pinterest and Facebook and Blogs. I loved this because it's realistic. And I know I have felt some guilt or mourning at having to give up each of these things. (except #13).

Go here for the full description of each item.

Here's the list they gave.

1) Personal space.
2) Being alone in the bathroom.
3) Free time.
4) Caring what other people think.
5) Vanity.
6) Ego. (thinking your kids are the best at everything)
7) Staying on schedule.
8) Control over your house.
9) Disposable income.
10) Peace of mind.
11) Defining sanity as you now know it.
12) Sleeping. (Can I get an AMEN?!)
13) Smoking. (Yuck. People should give that up anyway.)
14) Not exercising.
15) Being less careful.

What other things have you given up to be a mama?

BabyLit

I am utterly obsessed with these books. They are children's books that introduce them to classic literature. How adorable and genius is that?
I am working on increasing our little baby library because Mason is loving all his books so much. These are going to be absolute MUST for our bookshelf. I wish his Birthday wasn't a whole two months away!

Cut from the Cloth

A few weeks ago we decided to make the switch to cloth diapers. It took about three months of researching and then another month to get my courage up enough to finally do it. Most people are probably going to think we're crazy, as my younger siblings said, "that sounds disgusting". haha! Obviously this was a main concern of mine and Austin's as well. So here is why we decided to go old school.

Earlier Potty-Training
The average age for fully potty training in disposable diapered babies is around 36 months. The average for cloth diapered babies is 18-24 months. This used to be the standard age of potty training when cloth was the norm, it wasn't until the 1980's and 90's that the age for potty training increased so dramatically. So the idea of being able to cut out an entire year of diapering is quite appealing.

Baby's Health
I'll admit that my paranoia about chemicals in our home, food, medicine, etc. is on the extreme end, but I find the chemicals in disposables pretty concerning. Sodium Polyacrylate is the main component that absorbs liquids. That's why a full diaper feels gelatinous, and sometimes you find those gel beads on baby's skin. On the mild end it can cause skin irritation and eczema, on the extreme end it can cause Toxic Shock Syndrome and death. They used to use this chemical in feminine hygiene products until the FDA banned it because of the risk of TSS. Yet it's still used in diapers. And this is against baby's skin 24/7 for 3 years. So many moms avoid medications, certain foods, and even caffeine because it can bother baby during pregnancy or nursing. But we're okay with this constant exposure to a serious chemical?

World Health
They say that the average baby will use about 6,000 diapers by age two. That's not even the entire time they will be in diapers!! And these just sit in landfills, it's not even known if they will ever fully decompose. Plus it's illegal to throw any human waste into the trash. According to the CDC and WHO you technically are supposed to dump poo, even from disposables, into the toilet. But who does that?? There have been reports of feces of vaccinated infants seeping into ground water because of diapers thrown into an improperly sealed off landfill, and the strands from the vaccines causing illnesses like polio, measles, etc. I'm no tree hugger, but it does seem a little bit irresponsible to just shamelessly dump this kind of waste.

Financial Health
Again, 6,000 diapers by age two. When Mason was smaller, we could find great deals on diapers so they were costing about $0.07 a piece. Now the best we can find is $0.18 a piece, and decent ones are at least $0.20. They estimate that it now costs $1,500 to $2,000 to diaper one baby from birth to potty training. In contrast, our initial cloth diaper investment was around $200. For that price we got:
-50 diapers (12 pre-folds, 21 flats, 17 fitteds)
-6 diaper covers
-3 diaper doublers
-6 fleece liners
-15 cloth wipes
-5 Snappi fasteners
-cloth diaper laundry bag
-a HUGE thing of enzyme free detergent
-a HUGE thing of Dr. Bronner's soap for our homemade wipes solution
-tea tree oil to add to the wash

There is also the extra cost of water and power to wash and dry the diapers. We wash every third day, and because we use flats and prefolds rather than all-in-ones, they dry in about 20 minutes. We saw about a $2 increase in our electric bill during the first month of cloth diapering. And we are getting a clothesline for the summer because moms around here say that their diapers dry in about 15 minutes outside when it's warm because the climate is so dry. And...we don't pay for water right now, so I can't speak for that increase in cost. =)
But it's also something to consider that we will use these same diapers for all of our subsequent children. There are options of cloth diapering (all-in-ones, pocket diapers, gDiapers) that are more expensive in the initial investment, but will still save huge amounts of money over time.

The Down and Dirty
And then there's everyone's most adament question..."Don't you have to touch the poop?!" Let me just ask all the moms who have used disposable diapers, have you ever touched poop?? Has anyone managed to get through raising children and NOT touched poop? And puke? And pee? And snot? It's part of raising babies. I have done my fair share of scrubbing poop out of clothes because he had a massive blowout in his disposables. AND they make these awesome diaper sprayers now that attach to your toilet so you don't even have to really touch the poop. AND refer to the section above discussing the fact that technically EVERYONE should be dumping their baby's poo into the toilet.
People also ask me if it's gross because we wash them in the washer that we obviously wash our clothes in as well. When baby's diaper can't contain the poo, or your child has an accident, do you wash the clothes in a separate washer? If the inevitable throw up all over the bed during the night occurs, do you wash the sheets by hand in the tub or sink? Of course not! The washer is made for washing. I frequently clean my washer anyway by stripping with vinegar and baking soda, so we've just continued that practice. And because the majority of the substance has been flushed down the toilet, there's really nothing left by the time you put the diaper in the washer anyway.

All in all, we are so happy that we made this decision. It really just works for us. Austin was obviously hesitant but has become a cloth diapering professional in no time. He can diaper that baby faster than I can now! We also don't take him to daycare or anything, so it really just effects us. And I think Mason is happier. We couldn't find a single diaper that could keep him dry all night--every morning I would get him up and his pajamas would be soaked through. Now he is sleeping dry and peaceful. And our bank account is very, very happy.

And how cute is that little bum in a cloth diaper??

The truth about natural birth

I read this article today called "The Truth About Epidurals". I was obviously expecting to be slightly annoyed at the content of it, but I was pleasantly surprised at how well it was written. The information is presented in a biased, yes, but matter of fact way. Birth articles tend to get emotional, and this author did a good job. BUT....

What always drives me crazy about these kinds of discussions on the birth issue is that natural birth does not mean just no epidural. It means so many other things. I chose to have our baby outside of the hospital because I wanted the option to NOT have....Pitocin, unnecessary IV fluids, antibiotic eye ointment, Hep B vaccine, to not have to deliver on my back, to not have a ticking clock on my labor progression, or an automatic induction if I was overdue, etc.

If I had just wanted no epidural, I probably would have delivered in a hospital, like so many women do just fine. But so many of those other standard protocol interventions were not what I wanted as part of our birth experience, and I believe many of them would have made it harder to give birth without pain medication. And the fact that they don't offer, at least where we live, alternative methods to coping with pain is pretty backwards to me. None of the hospitals in Utah offer a birthing tub at all. A CNM told me that they can't let women labor in tubs because the malpractice insurance won't cover them if they do. So that tells me that their decisions during my birth would be made based on pleasing their insurance company rather than on what was best for me as an individual.

Maybe epidurals are better than they were 20 years ago as the article states, but it does not change the fact that birth has been overmedicalized in a billion other ways. And it IS a slippery slope of interventions, no one can deny that. The author of the article even said that she blames her emergency C-section on the fact that she was medically induced.

I'm not someone who judges how other women give birth, I think it's a fundamental right for women to choose that experience for themselves. But what does bother me is the lack of research that women put into how they will give birth. I wish women read more books or just talked more openly about childbirth experiences. Make an INFORMED decision rather than just going in blindly hoping things go okay. Maybe I'm just a control freak and wanted to know every detail of everything that could happen to me during childbirth. But everything went exactly how I had hoped, and I couldn't have asked for a more wonderful experience. And I believe that being prepared and informed was 99% of why it went so well for us.

But I don't know the other side because I obviously have never had an epidural, or hospital birth, or an emergency that required medical intervention. I love to hear any birth experiences, and would love it if anyone wants to share theirs and how they made that decision!